Last year was one of the most stressful years of my life, and it caught me off guard. Nothing was
"wrong" in the traditional sense, but a series of overlapping changes at work and in life left me feeling unsettled and off-balance. What surprised me most was realizing that change, whether welcome or not, can carry its own kind of weight.

The moment I knew I needed to do something different came from my daughter, a licensed therapist. She was honest, blunt even. She told me the stress was showing and that it was affecting my health. Hearing that from someone who loves you and also knows what stress does to the body has a way of cutting through denial and inspiring action.

So, I started making changes. Not all at once and not perfectly. But intentionally.

One of the biggest shifts was learning to identify artificial stress, the kind we create in our own minds. One guided meditation posted a simple question: Are you carrying stress that doesn't belong to you? That stopped me in my tracks. How much of my anxiety was tied to unknowns? To imagined worst-case scenarios? To things entirely outside my control?

Once I started paying attention, I realized how much energy I was spending worrying about things that didn't yet exist (and might never exist). Letting go of that kind of stress left room for the things that truly deserved my attention.

Rest also became a priority, not just sleep. Once I learned that rest and sleep are not the same thing, I began intentionally scheduling time to rest. Sometimes it was a full weekend with nothing planned, and sometimes it was smaller pockets of time. No matter the length, I started treating it like a meeting I couldn't cancel.

I also gave myself permission to seek out joy without justification. Watching familiar shows, listening to music, dancing – these weren't rewards for being productive; they were necessary parts of feeling like myself again.

I also became much more intentional about what I allow into my mind. I love social media for staying connected, but the constant stream of news and negativity was taking a toll. Even seeing a headline in passing plants something in your brain. So, I sanitized my feed and put the news to sleep and reminded myself that if I want information, I can always seek it out. We're often careful about what we eat, yet far less selective about what we consume mentally. Once I started treating my mental health with the same care I give my physical health, my stress levels shifted in noticeable ways.

Finally, I changed how I started my day. Gratitude, affirmations I actually believe, and stepping away from negativity don't solve everything, but they do set the tone. Those small choices made a real difference for me.

If you're feeling stretched, here are a few things to try:

• Notice how much stress is tied to unknowns you can't control
• Practice imagining best-case scenarios, rather than worst
• Schedule rest the same way you schedule meetings
• Make time for things that bring you uncomplicated joy
• Curate your news and social media intake intentionally
• Be mindful about what voices, thoughts, and information you let into your day

Not everything will work immediately, and not everything will work for everyone. But making small, consistent changes helped me move through a difficult year with more clarity, balance, and compassion for myself.

By Courtney Simms, CFRE — Senior Director of Major and Capital Gifts at The Muny and an Independent Consultant with The Rome Group